The Curse of Uncertain Forever

I have these thoughts again. They ruin me. Betray me in my most vulnerable. Most important. What is life? What is existence? When we are here one day and gone the next? My body overwhelms itself over this unsolvable mystery and quakes with fervour and stiffens as it attempts to release it. I lay here, on the bed of my lover, with tears at the verge of unleashing. All I want is peace. All i crave is slumber. Let me go to sleep and may i think no longer. This is my worst villain. This is my prison. The shackles in which this curse binds to mine brain and lets me not escape for even a few inches. I yearn for silence. I wish not to think on it anymore. May I be ignorant and naïve. A slave to my humanity. I have not any answers and will not find any soon. My probing tests are a forfeit and I wish not to continue. Let me love. Let me think. Let me enjoy. Let me alone.