Bro.
I am not okay.
I mean, I'm not dangerous.
But I don't feel okay.
I am happy at times. I genuinely feel things, but I always end up back here...
... In the dark.
I lie to myself so often about so many things. I lie to other people tiny little lies. I don't feel worthy enough to love someone. I don't feel loved by anyone...
Except families.
But they don't count. Not in this context.
I feel like a pest. I feel like everyone tolerates.
If even that anymore.
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck!!
I will never be okay with some things I've done. I don't think that I can ever trust myself again.
I'm too broken.
I'm too corrupt.
And in a world where the white male is lynched so easily...
I don't feel strong enough to continue in the public eye.
I want to run away. I want to become someone else.
I want to live alone.
Where I won't harm anyone else except for myself.
I don't deserve any of this.
Please God.
Fucking help me.
Fucking save me.
Show me a better life.
