It's seems that a lot of people are having a tough time right about now, myself included, but I only feel stressed because I'm not kicking my ass to get my shit down like I know I need to be doing.
I did the dishes tonight and had my headphones on. I had a grand ol' time just rocking out to Shawn Mendes, in particular, this song...
I had a whirlwind of a week and I do have some mixed feelings about it. I opened and closed a show in Calgary and it went really well,
at least,
I believe it did.
The playwright...
maybe not so much.
Hah.
Well, funny story.
The original dinosaur was written and portrayed as woman, and she made it very clear, very quickly.
Also she said three words to me "that was great", which isn't weird if she says that to everyone, but she didn't. She had an extensive conversation about EVERYONE's portrayal, except me.
Eh.
Playwright's are touchy. Go figure.
So what.
I fucking killed that part.
But it does bug me. I mean obviously because I'm still talking about it. I just wanted her to like me, and you know what?
Maybe she did. but I won't know that.
Fuck.
Anyway. I want to be a better person. I mean like be better at kicking my ass to get shit done. And just listen more to others. I want to be less of a jerk.
I also want to take my life off cruise control, because that's what i feel like is happening. I expecting myself to get there. And it's not true. I need to work hard. HARD.
It starts now, not yesterday. FUCK YESTERDAY. It's yesterday for a reason.
I watched a movie tonight about a chef fighting for what he wants, and it was incredible. BURNT with Bradley Cooper.
I feel the darkness, but right now I've got a torch in hand. So that's a step.
