What is happening to me?
My life feels so stagnant and unlucky right now.
I can't talk to one of my closest friends right now.
I'm stuck in a job that's barely paying me a living wage.
I feel out of place because I am not a student and don't fit in with the crowd because I'm trying to also not be a part of the student body.
I have a FUCKING MOUSE IN MY SUITE!
I'm not sleeping well.
I don't know what I'm going to do in the upcoming months to help pay for food and stuff.
I'm just so stressed right now.
And then to top it all off I came into rehearsal for the 2nd year student Christmas show to shadow the director and I got some aggression from Caitlyn, for bringing my supper into rehearsal?? Probably reading into it too much, but it was said with such disdain as if I had just destroyed her life. I haven't done anything that I'm aware of, so I'm confused as to why I was given hostility.
I also broke really hard the other day, I looked at pornography and I feel just fucking awful, every time I look, I feel as though my life is falling apart and skidding across the pavement. I don't feel adequate enough to even live. I shouldn't be stuck in this loop of shit.
I can't pursue dating because of this addiction and also because I don't know when and if I'd relapse over the person that I can't seem to get over. There's a person I want to ask out on a legitimate date but I don't want to be unfair.
I feel like I should give up on my spiritual life and I feel like I should I just not try. It's just terrible.
I don't know who to turn to. I feel like I should be acting like an adult and treating my mentors like colleagues and friends but where do I go for answers to things I don't know.
What is happening in my life? Why am I going through this shitty period?
Help me.
Someone.
Something.
