As I sit here. Preparing to go to bed.
Slightly frustrated at my understandably deaf brother watching a movie in the next room with the sound up so he can hear it.
I can't help but feel lonely.
In Rosebud, I was surrounded by so many people, people who seemed to care, or some who actually did.
Now, at home. There's just my family, and maybe one married friend.
I write letters to people that I care about, in Nova Scotia, the States, Rosebud.
I message them.
I text them.
I post to them.
But I don't ever seem to get any sort of response, unless I make the first move. And even then...
I mean, this has happened my whole life. A sort of one-sided friendship, HELL, I'm MCing my best friends wedding in May, and he's never once talked to me of his own accord unless he needed something, but he's still my greatest friend.
So I'm not really bothered by it. It teaches me to love myself. Make my own life. Focus on myself.
I don't expect anything. Truly.
It's just these quiet moments I really feel it, you know?
Just lonely. That's all.
Being a single 22 year old while most of your friends are one of the following: Married, Engaged, Dating, about to be dating doesn't help either.
Also the whole not getting a job either. I've been applying for almost 2 straight months now and I've had no bites. None. I have very little money, and I can't do anything outside of my home. It's like I'm 10 again, but not going to school. Very depressing situation. Here's to hope.
Although, I'm feeling great in all other aspects. I'm working out, and dieting which has placed in a very proud fitness position at the moment. I have a loving family with anything I need. I'm healthy. I'm reading more often. I'm writing. I'm applying for auditions.
I'm listening to Rockabye by Clean Bandit Feat. Anne-Marie & Sean Paul. Non-stop, it's my song at the moment. It's catchy. I like it a lot.
Goodnight All.
