Some context.
I've been struggling with pornography and masturbation since I was 11 years old. My first glimpses were shown to me by some friends across the street. Little did I know that that would be the beginning of a long and difficult journey.
I haven't escaped it, not yet, but I have conquered a goal. 2 weeks today, I am clean. I stopped looking at pornography 2 weeks ago after watching a film called She Has A Name. A film about Human Trafficking, It was poignant and shocking to watch something so horrifically true. I vowed to do my best to not contribute to that culture at all.
So far, so good.
However, Now I seem to be buzzing. Buzzing from my hormones that are now being contained inside me like trapped air in a balloon. I am at an insane level of heightened sexual energy. I can't seem to think of much else.
It's the toughest when I'm on my own. I have to be stronger when I'm on my own.
I feel good about my decision and journey but, man, is it hard.
Respecting the women around me and in my world is of utmost importance to me.
I must stay strong.
Not just for their sakes. But mine as well.
I want to be a better man. And this, I believe, is a way to be better.
